I’ve written a lot about the “Geek Test.” I’ve even written about the time I failed it. But I don’t think I shared the time I actually passed.
It was at Otakon 2013. John and I were in the dealers’ room, buying Gunpla kits. Otakon always has the best selection of the year, and we end up buying lots.
“Look at that,” I said to John. “They have a whole wall of chibi Gunpla!”
Suddenly, the guy next to me pivots to face me. He’s not one of the people working at the booth, so I’m sort of confused at first.
“These are great for beginners,” he began. “They’re High Grade Gunpla, which is the easiest type of Gunpla to build.”
This would be a very helpful thing to say. Except that it’s wrong.
“Actually,” I replied, “These are SD kits, which stands for Super Deformed, and they’re in a class of their own. They’re even simpler to build than HD.”
I waited a beat. He took one of the chibi kits off the shelf and didn’t respond, which emboldened me to keep going.
“If you want to learn more about Gunpla, I’ve written a lot about it on my blog. Check it out sometime,” I said, giving him my card.
He was still looking at the SD Gunpla box, presumably to find the nonexistent spot where it was marked “HD” and prove himself right.
I passed the test with extra credit. But I didn’t feel any better.
Why haven’t I shared until now?
This happened in August. But it never felt right to gloat about it on my blog.
Sure I could pick on this guy for being wrong when he was so confident he was correct, but his heart was in the right place. He saw what he presumed was a beginner, and wanted to help her out. It was wrong that he thought I was a beginner because I’m a woman, but that isn’t just his fault. That’s the pervasive narrative in geek culture. People’s perceptions aren’t going to change overnight.
Earlier, when I failed the “Geek Test,” I felt angry. I felt like my testers didn’t think I was welcome in their fandom.
But when I passed, I didn’t feel any better. I responded just as accusingly as any “Geek Test” giver. I judged this stranger for what he didn’t know. Even worse, we’re both Gunpla fans and if I’d handled it better, that could’ve been the start of a friendship.
I went home with five new Gunpla kits and the sinking feeling that I’d become the kind of geek gatekeeper I’ve always despised.
As geek musicians the Doubleclicks say, “If someone has to pass a test to hang out with you, YOU’RE the problem.” Passing this test wasn’t an accomplishment.
And getting your Gunpla facts straight isn’t a prerequisite to being my friend.
(Photo by toon_ee on Flickr.)
7 Comments.
Spot on. It’s one thing to share knowledge; it’s another thing to gloat about being superior (not that you did this!).
I should note that the “girls don’t know geek” narrative has never held up for me, in big part because the vast majority of my experiences in having certain aspects of geekdom explained to me, and explained well, were provided by women. It’s hard for me to understand why anyone still thinks this way unless they work very hard to keep their eyes closed.
That guy was lame, but at least you seemed to have gotten a Jaburo attack set out of it. Love that Gog and Acguy :)
Thanks, but that’s not my photo. It’s by toon_ee on Flickr. I’ve only got two SD Gundams: Unicorn and one from BB Senshi SD Gundam.
Well then if there’s a test you’ve certainly passed it, but in my professional opinion you need more SD Gundam in your life ;)
I’m glad you showed this guy up, though it sucks that you didn’t feel any better. The whole idea of having to prove yourself as a real fan is so toxic and dehumanizing. It’s pretty endemic in the Magic community too, ugh.
That’s a fantastic quote by the Doubleclicks, and I’ll keep it in mind. Thanks for writing this!
Love the Coubleclicks! They’re based here in Portland.
I don’t think you should feel bad. I’ve been subjected to geek tests before and failed, it hurts when the person giving the “test” is a jerk about it. It happens, but I don’t think you were being a jerk. He could have conceded the point and learned something new and maybe made a friend himself.
I’ve been subjected to the “test” by people who then go into great detail about how I’m a fake or how dare I say I’m into this or that because I fail to know every wee detail. Basically, they are simply trying to make themselves feel superior, you didn’t go that route.
Agreed with this point. Interaction is a two-way street (so to speak). Instead of searching for a way to prove himself right, he could have embraced humility to ask you more about what you knew, or even conceded that “he had not heard that before”, etc. It’s difficult and a blow to pride, but everyone is a beginner at some point. From there, we are always learning/developing. :]