Every December, I spend a lot more time with my family than usual. There’s Christmas, my birthday, John’s birthday, and my mom’s birthday all in one week!
Although home for me is just a thirty minute drive from where I live now, mentally it feels quite a ways away. Back when I lived at home, I was always really embarrassed of my interest in anime. When I was trying to prove to my parents that I was a grown-up, cartoons from Japan felt like a pretty childish hobby to have.
I was always nervous that my parents and sisters judging me for liking anime so much, but in reality it was all in my head. Even though I did some pretty embarrassing weeaboo things as a young teenager. Anime merchandise was expensive, so I drew pictures of the Gundam Wing pilots, often shirtless, and taped them around my room. I sang along to anime songs on car rides. My parents, wisely, refrained from commenting on any of this, probably to avoid encouraging me. And while I never grew out of anime, I thankfully grew out of doing stuff like that!
Short of my dad’s childhood love for Speed Racer, they didn’t—and don’t—pay much attention to it because it wasn’t something any of them found interesting. I remember once bringing a college boyfriend home to dinner who cracked a joke about my “weird” predilections, and how stupid I felt when the rest of my family laughed at it. I guess I didn’t think they’d really noticed! Of course, now that I’ve married another anime fan, those conversations are over.
My in-laws are pretty much the same. It’s interesting to hear my father-in-law’s West Virginia drawl juxtapose with his reference to “that anime stuff you guys like.” Like with my parents, for them it’s just another unfathomable thing the kids are into.
I’m bringing this up because I’m curious about other anime fans’ experiences. Were your parents disapproving? Confused? Did they start watching anime as a result, like this otaku mom from r/anime did? And if you’re a parent yourself, how do you plan to share your interest in anime, if at all, with your kids?
Screenshot via Kill La Kill.
37 Comments.
My experience with anime is a bit different, because my sister and I actually grew up watching a very old Toei anime that was brought to America under the name “Flower Angel.” So when Sailor Moon came out in the U.S. my sister and I were both a bit baffled because it was so much like this thing we used to watch, which led us down the rabbit hole at about the same time, which was late high school for me (no Gundam Boys on my wall, my decor was…unique at the time, long story).
So my sister and I are both equally into anime and talk about it a lot, recommend shows to each other, loan each other manga, went to cons, etc. My mom listens to us talk about it and is interested in that she’s interested in anything her kids are into, but she doesn’t really watch any of it for various reasons. I have a cousin who is my age who also came to conventions with my sister and I. I’m sure we will be fully indulging in introducing anime and manga to her son as he grows up, but at the moment he’s just a toddler.
The in-laws are used to us being giant nerds too, and they’re wonderful people who would be nice about anything we enjoyed, but I can’t even imagine my mother-in-law watching an anime. She mostly just makes sure we have plenty of snacks while my brother-in-law and I talk about Star Trek and Harry Potter at Christmas.
@mary_ratliff:disqus Never heard of that Toei anime but I can relate to watching unusual shows as a kid. My parents didn’t watch TV so when I came home from preschool babbling about something called “The Little Mermaid,” my mom picked up a VHS she saw in line at the grocery store for me with a similar name. It turned out to be the original story of The Little Mermaid, complete with the attempted murder of Prince Eric and Ariel’s suicide at the end! Anyway, that’s really neat to have that kind of common ground with your sister and cousin. There’ll always be at least one level on which you can relate to one another.
When I was a wee one watching Star Blazers via crack-of-dawn Saturday TV programming, whatever I watched was just another kids show to my parents. If it was animated, they didn’t pay much mind for what it was. I fell out of watching cartoons until after college. My mother (who died before I really delved into anime) and father divorced when I was 10, so neither really had time to pay attention to what I was watching anyway. For what it’s worth, I think my mom would’ve been accepting and even enjoyed a few series/movies. Every now and then I’ll make my dad watch something I think he’ll like, and he’s fairly open to the medium having found some titles that entertained him (Death Note, Space Brothers, Ghibli features). My biggest intimidation, however, is my insanely smart older brother. He studied film at NYU and graduated in 3 years…and now lives on my couch. Despite what he’s seen me watch, he still considers all anime to be tentacles and pedophilia due to old stigma and recent news reports. Obviously a lot of what he’s seen doesn’t impress him, but he’s left good enough alone when it comes to accepting that I like the medium. Occasionally he’ll partake in a Miyazaki flick or something I’ll recommend, but mostly he’ll just wince and walk away saying, “Yeah…I’ll just be over here then.” Needless to say, I feel very self-conscious when watching in my own living room…something that turns my stomach.
@AnimatedInk:disqus if Couch Brother was open-minded enough to move into your house, he might as well follow the “When In Rome” philosophy to its conclusion. That’s interesting that he’s OK with Miyazaki but still thinks anime is gross. It just shows how deeply ingrained mainstream media perceptions can be.
As a former film student myself, I have to say I feel a bit sorry for your brother and all the amazing things he’s missing out on that could really expand his world and understanding of the history of cinema and visual storytelling in general.
I’ve frequently used Bebop as a gateway drug for fellow film fanatics, but if he is already biased against the medium, I don’t know that he’d go into it with an open enough mind to really see how brilliantly it takes a hold of common film genre conventions and subverts and twists them into a new story, which gives a viewer a way to appreciate those common tropes in a new fashion, an outlook which in turn can improve a filmmaker’s writing and directing styles.
(You can perhaps tell that I’ve run into a lot of filmmakers that make sweeping judgements about things they don’t understand).
I’ve used Cowboy Bebop as a seriously strong gateway drug to anime on people over the years. Since it has a great dub I don’t have to get them to read subtitles, nor do I need to explain anything cultural to them (as I would with, say, a slice of life title.) Plus, I push the music from the series as a way of getting someone interested. You really can’t beat the sound track from that show.
My gateway was Danganronpa, and got a fair few of my friends hooked on it as a kind of semi-gateway, if that makes any sense. I’ve also used Madoka Magica as a gateway on a few people.
These are actually two of the three anime that got me hooked on anime (DR being the first, PMMM the second, and Angel Beats the third).
So as a parent, with 4 kids, and a non-Otaku wife – My kids and I watch anime every single night without fail before bed. We all love it. Having all the kids watch with me is like having your own little anime club at home. It’s great. I suggest everyone have kids for this sole purpose. We purchase and cover our house in anime trinkets and whatnots. We listen to jpop and kpop and every opportunity.
My wife tolerates some of it, but at times she asks for a break :) It’s been over 15 years, so I know when she needs a break :)
As a child, I loved anime as well. My single-father didn’t seem to recall pay attention to it.
The kids grandparents on both sides of the family know how I feel about anime. They tease me about it, but at family gatherings, the kids and I usually play imagination as anime characters or watch anime or talk about anime. They get it. It’s a thing. My father-in-law has been mispronouncing Naruto for years, just to screw with me.
@Crimm:disqus Sometimes it’s hard to believe you’re raising not one, but four, anime fans! It must be great for them to have this bond with their dad. I wonder if they’ll grow out of it, or if they’ll end up watching anime with their kids, too!
My oldest daughter is 11. I’ve been watching her close. She only seems to be getting closer to “nerdy” way of life. My influence has actually made an impact that I’m proud of. She has chosen her friends based on those desires. So she is in with a better crowd, but I’ve also taught her to stand up for herself and others, so I’ve seen her stand up to bullies. Overall, she’s rounding out to be a great child. I tally it all up to anime.
I grew up in a very religious household and a lot of the themes often found in anime clashed with what my parents thought was appropriate. We actually had a couple of really big fights about it when I was a teenager, but they eventually gave in and realized they weren’t going to be able to dissuade me. My mom eventually helped me put together my first cosplay. As a teen, anime was what helped me to become social and make friends. It helped to expand my horizons and I really do credit it a lot for me becoming the well-rounded adult I am today.
And now that I’m an adult who no longer lives with my family, I don’t discuss my interest in anime very much because I know they don’t really understand and have no interest in anime and that’s ok. I’m at a very comfortable place in my fandom as an adult where I don’t feel the need for anybody else’s approval of my hobbies and interests.
Sometimes I will ask for specific anime things from my parents for Christmas or my birthday, but they don’t try to make guesses as to what I might like as far as anime goes which I very much appreciate. I have had family members who heard I was interested in anime buy me a random DVD for a present. One year I remember one of my in-laws giving me a DVD of Case Closed. I never really watched Case Closed nor did I express any interest in the series. And the DVD contained episodes somewhere in the middle. So from then on I kept the mentions of anime to an even smaller minimum lest I accumulate a collection of random, disconnected volumes of anime or manga.
So it was a rocky start for me, but it all turned out well in the end, luckily. My family doesn’t have to like anime, but they know it’s something I still enjoy and I appreciate that they respect that.
@CandyAppleCat:disqus, even though it wasn’t a show you liked, that’s actually really sweet that your in-laws bought you Case Closed. It’s clear they had NO IDEA about anime, or why you might want to start with episode 1, etc., and yet they bought it for you to show they cared. I think the same thing would happen to me if I asked for anime as a gift from my family. I might get a hentai or a little kid show or something from a well-meaning relative!
Yeah, I can appreciate that, but it made me very embarrassed at the time and wish that they didn’t know I liked anime at all. ^^; A gift certificate would have been much more appreciated. But then I wouldn’t have gotten this kinda funny family story out of it.
As someone who’s Chinese and who has relatives who are not fond of Japanese people (due to experiences of Sino-Japanese War back in the early part of the 20th century), I’ve had it okay. My parents don’t mind at all. My sister didn’t either. My dad watched Initial D with me back in the day once. I think he can totally be an otaku, if he didn’t grow up going through the experiences he went through in life.
The only thing my parents will criticize with regards to anything Japanese-related is about going to Japan. My mom sometimes wonder what’s so great about Japan in the first place when it’s expensive. She does understand that if you have an interest in Japanese culture, then sure. But other than that, she thinks other places are better and cheaper.
I bet you still draw shirtless men. ADMIT IT.
@MangaTherapy:disqus unfortunately, I don’t draw anymore, period!
Ah, a cultural reason for parents being confused. I remember when my grandmother-in-law told me she thought it was weird we liked anime since it’s made by the people who bombed Pearl Harbor. I just wanted to disappear into the floor!
My parents just think it’s just another cartoon. My mom actually sat down and watched Record of Lodoss War with me years ago and enjoyed it. I went through my embarrassing weeaboo phase just like everyone else but my parents really didn’t bat an eye. I look back on my weeaboo phase myself and I just…cringe. I’d expected them to tell me to cut it the hell out but…nope!
http://undecidedanswer.wordpress.com
@cinnabubbles:disqus I love how the only people embarrassed by our awful weeaboo phases have turned out to be ourselves X_X
RIGHT?! x3
I think the best thing about my family and anime was that when my then 13 (now 14) year old niece found out I was into anime, I suddenly became the most awesome aunt possible. :)
It’s been nice that she and I, a continent apart, can bond over anime and that she opens up to me about a lot going on in her life as we’ve become so much closer over the past nearly two years. All because I txted her mom a random anime reaction image and she happened to see it.
Additionally, my sister and her husband as well as my parents (said niece’s grandparents) feel much more at ease about her being such a big anime fan as they know I know what she’s watching and since I’m not raising any red flags they’ve moved beyond the worrying about the whole… Blech, hentai type stuff they’ve sadly heard tale of (I’ve educated them.)
@zoeliddel:disqus oh, hentai. Its aesthetic similarity to all-ages anime will be the confusion that plagues parents from now until forever. That’s really neat that you’ve discovered this bond with your niece! I bet she’s happy to know somebody who’s a grownup and likes the same hobby she does.
One of my mom’s coworkers heard from her, somehow, that my brother and I were still watching Pokemon occasionally when I was in 8th grade and he in 5th, and gave her a copy of Spirited Away to show us. I don’t know why but somehow we instead ended up finding her watching it on the computer and crowded in, fell in love, and well that coworker is also now my step-dad. @_@
Recently my brother has started making comments like “when are you going to stop watching/reading that stuff” but even my mom has started cutting him off when he says that since she would rather me not threaten to punch him at the dining room table (or in the car, you know, just awkward places) but frankly his tastes are even weirder than mine so he really doesn’t have a leg to stand on. Other than that, my mom and step-dad still enjoy some anime (I showed my mom Time of Eve and she’ll check out Totoro from her university’s library whenever she feels like rewatching it) and my step-sister enjoys it too, I was teasing her just the other day that Attack on Titan s2 doesn’t air until 2016 and got some very choice reaction images in return!
(and like many people in this thread, all of my parents are fairly chill about whatever I get into, there is some teasing over the cosplay but since my attitude about it is “nope, don’t care, I’m happy with it!” it usually moves onto teasing for totally different things)
I got my sister into it. We cried over InuYasha together (yes, InuYasha). Then I got her to cosplay Cardcaptor Sakura characters with me at a con. My family has been very supportive of my anime fandom.
I wanted to follow-up this morning, because of this morning’s events.
The 11 year old’s I teach and coach are into boys and the social scene. My daughter?
She asked for two things for Christmas: Omega Ruby and a Umbrion jacket that has ears and a tail. She took to school today her shiny pokemon cards and her recent MtG pack openings so she could play with her friends.
I’m so proud of them.
@Crimm:disqus that’s so cute! You should have a blog, Crimm. I’d love to hear more about your family.
I’d like to have a blog. I had an active one, at one time, but I got busy. I have plans to have a big comeback one day…. One day….
Ditto on that. When you can get it running again I’d love to read it too.
I and my (real, 3d) wife usually go to her parent’s house for our Christmas.
My 2d waifu is Ranka lee, and my wife likes her too.
So the last two Christmases my wife has bought me 2 or more Ranka figures, and cosplayed each figure while giving it to me, and does a karaoke song & dance.
(Yes she actually changes costumes for each figure. Yes, I am disgustingly spoiled, I know this)
This is done in front of my wife’s still sleepy Christmas morning family and grandparents. They don’t get it. At all. But they are used to her doing “interesting things”.
My parents both think that anime is the only thing I ever think about and that it gives me brain damage.
It’s upsetting because I feel that if I was watching t.v. shows or cartoons online, they wouldn’t mind as much.
Anime has improved my life in a number of ways. Sure, sometimes it’s distracted me from my studies and made me a little more conscious of my weight/3 sizes but it’s made me feel really good about being short (I’m only 150 cm, roughly 4′ 11″) and made me feel even better about having a small bust! Moreover, my nickname is Rin, and it seems as though whenever a character is called ‘Rin’, she is going to be awesome.
It also got me into drawing, and a lot of online communities, such as fanfiction.net or MAL. In turn, people on these sites have gotten me into games such as Touhou Project and Visual Novels.
Not only do I socialise online, but anime and anime culture have helped me establish bonds with others and even one of my cousins, who decided to watch Danganronpa upon my recommendation and got totally hooked!
I’m really happy that I got into anime despite some negative factors, and to be honest, I think my parents should be happy too if I feel this way, rather than discouraging me and putting me down by harshly criticising my tastes.
Sorry for digressing in the middle there.
@mnemofysh:disqus I’m so glad that anime has been a positive influence on your life. Maybe if your parents could see how your newly social and creative behavior is connected to your love of anime, they’d come around.
Thanks for the kind thoughts, unfortunately I have tried to explain this but it hasn’t worked. My mom did understand the height bit, but other than that my studies are (rightfully) their first priority.
It’s a bit of a shame because my dad does enjoy watching anime movies from time to time, such as Mononoke Hime, Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind (that’s his favourite), Spirited Away, etc.
My parents aren’t banning anime sites, however, so even if they’re not necessarily being supportive they’re certainly putting up with it at least. I do feel that if I did slip into a weaboo phase however they wouldn’t be very appreciative :3
I’m very glad I was introduced to anime sooner rather than later.
I love anime, I watch it every chance but my family really dislikes it, although they don’t stop me as a matter a fact my dad hates anime but he’s the one who bought be all the Ghibli Movies. I’m trying to ease my younger brother into anime with the anime like Attack On Titan, My Neighbor Totoro, Akira, One Piece and the anime I personally love the most, Death Note! He likes Attack on Titan and Totoro so I’m almost there. I’m also pulling in my mom with The Wind Rises, Wolf Children and Ponyo. My dad, he likes Akira kinda, but that’s about it.
@missmanga:disqus for a guy who professes to hate anime, your dad sure watches a lot of it! Sounds like he’s coming around.
Yeah a bit but I’m still waiting to get Ghost in the Shell Volume 2 so I can watch it from what I can tell my dad would be the type to like action or horror animes!
My parents forced me to watch TV PG until I moved out at the tender age of 18 I got around this by buying a android phone. They hated that I watched anime and shunned me for it my whole family did in fact. In fact I don’t even know who my sisters are. And they lived in the room over…
You know what I did I was like do I care not really. To be honest my sister did give it a try once however ever since she hates me even more Ehem umm she went on Netflix and watched Sekirie…. Not a good anime to start out with….
My parents think anime is inappropiate, no matter what the anime is. They think manga is inapporopiate too, and they think kpop is weird. Do you have any ideas that I can make them change their mind?
It’s hard to give specific advice without knowing your exact situation, but I think this might be a good start – a list of anime that people think is appropriate for teens and tweens – https://www.animefeminist.com/anifemtalk-feminist-anime-recs-kids-teens/. If they are Christian, they might be more receptive to a recommendation of Christian anime from the blog Beneath The Tangles.
As for thinking Kpop is weird, at least they aren’t keeping you from listening, and they can’t say it’s inappropriate if they don’t speak Korean, either. I know from experience that people are always going to think some of the things you like are weird, and that’s life. As long as they let you enjoy it in peace, it doesn’t really matter what they think of it.